White Apricot

Valerie Bertinelli has done it. So have Jennifer Hudson and Marie Osmond. They’ve all lost a ton of weight with programs like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. So, why not Fido or Tiger?  If your pets have been staring in the mirror, wondering if their collars make them look fat, never fear.  Now, your pudgy pooch or chunky cat can join Nulo, a complete weight loss system for dogs and cats.  Called SimplyFit™, the program delivers healthy food right to your doggy door in a variety of flavors to keep boredom at bay. But wait, there’s more. How about a fitness program for youand your pet, weight loss tracking, motivational tips and even an onlinecommunity. SERIOULSY?!

We’re all for healthier pets, but is it just us, or does the line between pets and their owners seem to be blurring? Pets are running around in couture, sleeping on tiny beds in elaborate houses, even spending long days at their own spas, and now joining weight loss programs. What’s next — bars, restaurants and clubs just for animals?! We think this concept is for the birds.  www.nulo.com.

Proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished, Frito Lay is taking a lot of flack about its new, eco friendly SunChips bags. The bags, which debuted in January of this year, are made from biodegradable plant material that, although it makes a bit more noise when it’s opened, breaks down in approximately 14 weeks. The problem? Customers are complaining that the bags are too loud, making it impossible to “sneak” a bag of chips.   One Air Force pilot was even quoted as saying it was louder than the cockpit of his jet. And, there’s a facebook page on the issue with more than 39,000 fans. SERIOUSLY?!

Come on, people — can’t we just applaud the efforts of a company trying to do the right thing? Do we really have nothing more important to gripe about than the sound a bag of chips makes when it’s opened? Furthermore, if you have to skulk around “sneaking” SunChips, you may have bigger issues to address.  Personally, we think a crunchy bag is small price to pay for a world with less waste. We also think these complainers are making a loud, embarrassing statement about where the environment ranks on their list of important causes. www.sunchips.com.

Who remembers the Pet Rock?  Basically, it was just a rock in a pet carrier, complete with care and feeding instructions, a "pet" for people who couldn't deal with a live pet.  It was probably one of the dumbest products ever to come to market — that turned into one of the biggest fads of the 70’s and made millions. Now, some “genius” has decided that the Pet Rock needs an upgrade forthis decade and has introduced the USB Pet Rock,a pet rock that is still just a rock, but now has aUSB cable attached to it. You’re supposed to plug it into a free USB port on your computer and, according to the description, “let the fun begin,” as people ask you what it does. SERIOUSLY?!

This kind of instant millionaire lightening doesn’t strike twice with the same product, people! It was kind of funny once, but it certainly isn’t funny again, just because you put a USB cable on it! These “inventors” even ripped off the original Pet Rock carrier.  What’s next?  Hey fashion designers — anyone want to bring back the leisure suit? Add this to the list of waste of money and resources products we could all do without.  $9.95 at www.fatbraintoys.com.

The happiest place on earth is about to make pets even happier. Beginning August 27th, Disney World will open the Best Friends Pet Resort, for those who can’t bear the thought of leaving home without their cats, dogs, guinea pigs, potbellied pigs and other small mammals. Pets can enjoy packages that include a bedtime story, a water park, their own private villa with flat screen TV, and even their own personal pet concierge. SERIOUSLY?!

We love our pets, but come on! Is it really necessary to take them to Disney and pay for them to be read to, while we ride Space Mountain and hob knob with Mickey and Donald? And what about those flat screens? How do they change the channel? Oh wait! Maybe that’s the reason for the personal concierge — although, how would a guinea pig go about dialing for room service? We think this operation is a little bit “goofy.”

Men shaving their heads as they start to lose their hair is quickly becoming the norm.  And, we have to admit, it can even be pretty sexy. Capitalizing on these poor guys who are trying to salvage their appearances as they lose their precious locks, however, is another thing entirely. Enter the Bald Guyz, with a collection of products specifically for, well — bald guys, which includes such necessities as sunscreen, shampoo, conditioner and even head wipes, for those days when he needs a little freshening up mid-day. SERIOUSLY?!

We have to ask why a guy with little or no hair needs a special shampoo and conditioner. The scalp can’t be any more sensitive than his face, so use that soap. And, we’re sorry, but in our mind, any natural sunscreen that’s good enough for the face is good enough for the scalp. And what guy is going to whip out his little wipes during the day to freshen up his scalp? SERIOUSLY?! What’s next — special shaving cream just for bald guys?  Oh wait, the Bald Guyz already thought of that too. www.baldguyz.com.