White Apricot

IN VITRO MEAT...

PETA always seems to be great at providing us with stories for our Seriously?! column.  While we applaud their mission, they can just be so over the top in so many gloriously funny ways. The latest is their "in vitro meat" contest.  Even the sound of that is pretty gross. Yes, an aspiring scientist can win $1 million for coming up with a way to grow chicken meat in a laboratory without killing any animals, but rather using animal stem cells. It has to taste and look just like the real thing and must be manufactured and sold successfully in at least 10 states. Seriously?!  Is this truly one of the great problems of the world that scientists should be focusing on? Can we cure diseases or maybe solve global warming first?! 

SOLAR POWERED CACTUS...

This falls under the category of "why?"  This is...and we quote..."The Amazing Solar Powered Cactus." We're all for the wonders of solar power, but what inventor extraordinaire came up with the idea of creating a plastic (not at all eco friendly) dancing cactus that is run by solar power.  Okay, we get that it's meant to be entertaining and we get that it can run forever with no impact on the environment, but Seriously?!  Maybe if you watch it while drinking lots of organic tequila, it could provide hours of pleasure going back and forth...back and forth...back and forth...Ole!

TOILET LID SINK...

Why are eco inventors so obsessed with our bathrooms... especially our toilets?!  A while back, we brought you the toilet/ washing machine... Then it was the bathtub/sink and now... the Toilet Lid Sink.  Yes, now you can sit down, take care of business, flush and the water that would otherwise go down the toilet is routed up to the spigot on the Toilet Lid Sink so you can wash your hands. Seriously?!  If you're flexible, we imagine you wouldn't even have to get up. We're told that the water that goes to the sink is "pure," but still, just the thought of washing our hands with toilet water is a little hard to swallow. (Did I just say that...?)

AIRPOD...

Just when we were starting to get used to the teeny weeny Smart Car, along comes a teenier weenier car, powered by…wait for it…air. How amazing would that be if all of our cars could be powered by air!  But, alas, this first take has us a bit puzzled. Why does it have to look like the pod that took the princess back to her alien planet in Men in Black II? Seriously?!  Well…it is called the AirPod, so maybe the designers wanted it to look futuristic.  Perhaps they enlisted George Jetson in the design process?  But we digress, the AirPod is powered by a compressed air system, which uses electricity to compress huge amounts of air in small tanks.  When the air is slowly released, it drives the pistons that move the car.  Fantastic concept, but there’s definitely work to do on that body style and, from what we understand, this baby gets up to a whopping 40 miles per hour. So, currently, our car of the future drives like a golf cart.  But it’s a start! 

EPA DRESS...

So, you arrive at work and your boss asks you why you look like you slept in your clothes.  Your response, "No worries, it's just my EPA Dress, telling me that the air quality is bad today."  Yes, meet the EPA Dress, which has embedded sensors in it to read the atmosphere and wrinkle up on you if the air is unfit.  We think this could be the next big "can't go to work" excuse.  "I'm sorry but my dress says it's just not a good day for me to go out..."  Seriously?! 

HUMAN BREAST MILK ICE CREAM...

This one was sent in by one of our readers and it's a good one. Thanks, Danielle! Now, we respect PETA's mission, if not always their methods, but this one made us lough out loud. It's just so outragrous! The Executive Vice President of PETA sent a letter to Ben & Jerry's, telling the company it should be replacing cow's milk in their ice creams with human breast milk. Why, you ask? Well, it's because it would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies and be better for our health because, as she so eloquently puts it, "Everyone knows the breast is best." Seriously?! And, just tell us...where exactly are they going to get all this breast milk and what will all those human babies do when their mothers are selling milk meant for them to Ben & Jerry's? Can you just imagine the Craigslist ad?

RECYCLED COAT HANGER NECKLACE...

We realize that for some, the process of learning to live a green lifestyle can be painful, but seriously?! This collar necklace is made out of recycled coat hangers. That's just got to hurt! We love seeing the creative jewelry that gets made out of recycled stuff because it's so often just so over the top...like this, for example. She must have known that statement necklaces are so very hot this season. Wonder what happened to all the plastic bottoms...

ECO FUR...

This one truly disgusts us...A Japanese designer is trying to call her fall line of fur trimmed capes and jackets eco friendly. In fact, she has named her line Eco Harmony.  Seriously?! We're talking chinchilla and mink here!  How can somehow possibly rationalize that as eco friendly?!  Here's how.  It's because the rest of the garments are made from recycled polyester.  Seriously?! We're sorry but killing animals for their fur is about as far away as you can get from eco friendly. We don't care what you put it with. Then, there's an Oregon company that's justifying making fur pillows and bedspreads out of possums. Why? Well, because they're pests, of course, so they're doing a good thing. Please...  What's next, making fur coats out of all the animals in shelters because we can find homes for them and calling that eco friendly? Sick...

WOOF WATER...

From the “now we’ve seen it all” file, comes bottled water for…wait for it…your dog. Now, we’re all for pampering your precious pooch, but this is just sick. Pouring more plastic bottles into the landfills to make a buck off this kind of a gimmick? Seriously?! The idea is that some dogs don’t like chlorinated water, but, come on, can a dog really tell the difference between spring and tap water…and then refuse tap water? My dog drinks out of puddles in the street when I'm not looking! Now, maybe if the water came out of the toilet…

DEARHEAD BACKPACK FROM STELLA MCCARTHY

Stella, Stella, Stella... Here is one of our favorite vegan designers gone completely off the deep end.  We understand LeSportsac is a much less expensive and perhaps a little more fun line than her usual couture brand, but seriously?!  What's up with a deer head backpack?  Did the designer and LeSportsac actually think that this was cute...or that there are an amazing number of deer lovers out there?  What the heck's the theme here...protect our deers?  We might have to turn in our fashion expert credentials if we actually start seeing these things on the street.

FLOPPY DISK BRACELET...

We're all for creative recycling and designers, who think outside the box. But, seriously?! This bracelet is made from discarded floppy disks. A lot of you are probably asking, "What the heck are those?" Just call them an old relative of the data CD. First off, this "bracelet" takes up half your arm and while it's supposed to represent flowers, we don't think it's hitting the mark. Second, how do you rest your arm on anything? Third, it's $110! Seriously?! We suggest you wear it with your finest circuit board earrings.

ABSOLUT LOS ANGELES...

Okay, okay... We know that Los Angeles is known for our fit, healthy lifestyle. And, we admit we love our anti-oxidant fruits, but what mixology genius (spurred on by marketing) decided it would be perfect to create a vodka, named after our fair city, flavored with every single "en vogue" anti-oxidant superfruit known to mankind! Seriously?! Yes, we're talkin' pomegranate, açai berry, acerola cherry and bluberry, all infused in a vodka that, to the best of our knowledge, is not even organic? What's next... Absolut Chicago that's deep dish pizza flavored?

GREENERY SHOES...

So, we've been telling you how ankle boots are oh so "in"... and, of course, we all know that (gag) "green is the new black." Is anyone else besides us sick of that cliché? Seriously?! These "shoes", to the best of our knowledge, were created by Finnish artist, Anni Rapinoja, out of lingonberry leaves...for what purpose, we have no idea. But, they did make us laugh. You certainly wouldn't be able to walk a mile in these shoes...maybe display them as eco shoe art...or put them in a salad? The Wicked Witch of the West would have probably preferred these to the ruby slippers... they would have matched her complexion...

ECO COFFINS...

So...the creators of these lovely "Eco Coffins" were really thinking outside of the "box" when they came up with this one. These are coffins made out of recycled paper and cardboard that you can customize with your own graphics. Seriously?! We almost "died" laughing, thinking of all the possibilities... Can I get Johnny Depp on the top of mine,
lying face down?

CARDBOARD BIKE...

Meet young Phil Bridge. Phil wants
everyone to be able to ride a bike because it's good for the planet. Kudos to young Phil. Phil also knows not everyone can afford one. His solution? Why, it's a bicycle made out of cardboard that costs $30! We love the eco conscious effort, but we're just not sure that Phil has thought this all the way through. Is it possible the cardboard could collapse (ouch!) and what happens when it gets wet? Can you re"cycle" it when its obviously short life span ends? Phil has dubbed his invention the "ultimate green machine." Seriously?! We don't think so, Phil. It's a good try, but we think it's back to the drawing "card"board, Phil.

COW FAT MOTOR OIL...

Scientists should study the brain waves
of the person who came up with this one. We're all for alternative oil sources, but how would cow fat and motor oil even show up on someone's radar as a great solution? But, yes, here it is. Biodegradable motor oil made from cow fat. Seriously?! We wonder if it really makes your car moooooove... Supposedly, you can pour this stuff on the ground and it will biodegrade 90% in just a mere nine days. And, if you drink it (did someone actually try this???), you won't vomit. Whoopiee! But, here's the big question...how do they get it...cow liposuction?

DISSOLVABLE DRESS...

Picture this... You're at a party, looking fabulous in this dress, when all of a sudden, someone accidentally spills a drink on you...and your dress dissolves. In other words, you're now sporting your lingerie. Yes, this beautiful dress is the result of a collaboration between a designer and a chemist and it dissolves in water. Seriously?! Made from a clear polymer, polyvinyl alcohol, it's supposed to be a metaphor for beautiful things we use and throw away without a thought. We're thinking some brain cells dissolved coming up with this one...
But, depending upon the kind of party you're at, it could be fun...

LADYBIRD BATHTUB/SINK

We love inventions that do double duty (remember the Washing Machine/Toilet?) Here's the latest. It's the Ladybird sink and bathtub combo. It's a teeny weeny bathtub with a removable sink on top, designed to save space and water consumption. When you need to take a bath, just remove the sink, and stuff yourself (we're talkin' knees in chest) into the bathtub. One question though...where does the used dirty water from the sink go?? We're guessing it goes right into the bathtub... Seriously?! Yuck!

ARROWHEAD "ECO-SHAPE" PLASTIC WATER BOTTLE

Meet the Arrowhead Eco-Shape plastic water bottle. Why is it eco, you ask? Well,
it's got a "waistline," of course, so it uses 30% less plastic. Seriously?! What marketing genius came up with this
one?! No matter how you slice it or slim
it down, it's still a plastic bottle!  What are
we supposed to do with the other 70%?

THE SOAP BANK

Soap dropping got you down? Are you so conscious of waste that you don't want to ever toss the last bit of the bar? Then you
need the Soap Bank. Stick it on the wall
of your shower and use it as a soap dish. Then, when it gets small, squeeze it
through the slot into the awaiting net and suds up. Seriously?! We don't even want

to comment on what this seemingly completely unnecessary contraption reminds us of...

SHOPPING BAG BRA

So, you're at the grocery store and realize you completely forgot to bring your reusable shopping bag. No worries. Just make sure you wear your "No! Shopping Bag Bra." Then, you can whip off your bra, do a little origami-like hocus pocus
and voilà! Your bra is now an eco friendly shopping bag! Seriously?! There has to
be some kind of melon joke in here somewhere...

BUTTOCKS COOLING SYSTEM

It may not look like much, but this is an
eco friendly buttocks cooling system.
It uses the sweat from your bottom and
"a little energy" to activate an internal fan
that blows 170 liters of air per minute up your... Now that's a rush! Seriously?! I guess we've found our solution to the terrible global issue of overheated rear ends...

THE COFFIN COUCH

Here's a lovely sofa "to die for" called the Coffin Couch. It's made from recycled slightly imperfect coffins, collected from funeral homes. Seriously?! You wouldn't catch us dead in one of these...

SOLAR POWERED DANCING CRICKET...

Now here's a major contribution to saving the Planet...Okay, we admit it's kind of
cute but why would anyone take the time to invent a solar powered dancing ricket? Put it in the sunlight and it vibrates madly, making a chirping sound and wagging its feelers in a "wild dance." Seriously?! Maybe this would make a small child giggle, but when you read the fine print... it's not suitable for them due to small parts. Maybe you could pull it out at a party instead of putting a lampshade on your head?